In recent years women have moved forward in their quest for equality – on the job front and on the home front. We are fortunate to have choice, opportunities and options. And, many of us are seizing those opportunities – out of personal desire or sometimes out of necessity. Stats Canada reports that seventy-five per cent (75%) of mothers with the youngest child aged 3-5 years were in the paid labour force. When I read these figures I think “wow…that’s a powerful labour force on the one hand”. On the other hand, a part of me says “wow…those moms (and dads too) are working hard”.

Working mothers fare up against a double workload in society as they face the difficult challenge of balancing work and family responsibilities. More than one-third of 25-44 year old women who work full-time and have children at home report that they are severely time-stressed.

After a full day at work, sometimes a long commute and a child that needs attention, the household chores seem daunting. Whether it is emptying the dishwasher, tidying up, wiping the floors, counters, walls, making lunches there seems to be a non-stop list of household items that need attention. In families where responsibilities are shared, it is often the ongoing planning and management of the household that is left to the mother while the partner (often the father) picks up the more traditional event based tasks – projects or jobs that begin and end. This ongoing planning adds to the stress and overwhelm working mothers feel. A study conducted for Human Resources Development Canada (HRDC) in 2003 called Voices of Canadians Seeking Work-Life Balance this is described as role overload – having too much to do in the amount of time available. Forty-two percent (42%) of participants in this study in 1991 reported high role overload. In 2001 this had increased to Fifty-six percent (56%).

If you are reading this, you do not need me to go on about how much this role-overload can plague your quality of life. The role-overload described causes feelings of exhaustion beyond belief. I am sure what you want to hear is about what you can DO about it. So, here are some easy to implement strategies that can help you get started:

Strategy #1: Overall Responsibilities

Sit down and make a list of all the things you do in order to keep your household running smoothly. Ask your partner or support person to do the same. Review your lists together and commit to a new shared list. This activity will allow you to truly see what you are taking on and also recognizing what your partner is taking on. You may be surprised. Post your lists in a visible place and hold yourselves accountable for the agreements made. Remember to revisit them often as workloads and family needs change.

Strategy #2 : Planning

• Use a master family calendar and place it in a visible location – usually the kitchen
• Create a weekly or bi-weekly menu that you follow consistently – post it so that whomever is home first can start dinner
• Type up a regular grocery list of food supplies and staples and organize it by aisle in the grocery store – just tick off the items as you need them
• Grocery shop only once a week
• Set up computer reminders for birthdays and shop in advance for gifts and keep them handy for kids parties

Strategy #3: Cleaning

• Enlist your children as young as 3 years old to help clear the table after meals
• Enlist the whole family in cleaning up – create baskets for each member that stray toys and other items can be placed in easily
• Never go downstairs or upstairs empty handed
• Create a family principle – whoever uses it or makes the mess, cleans it up
• Sort the mail as it comes in the house and have baskets for bills, and personal mail with a recycling bin handy

Strategy #4: Laundry etc.

• Shop seasonally for your kids and make it an outing
• Have bin ready in the basement to store clothes that do not fit
• Shop at second hand stores
• Emphasize unisex clothes
• Buy identical socks for your children so they do not get mixed up
• Ensure children have access to their draws and closets with low draws and hanging bars so they can put their own clothes away
• Do not buy clothes that need ironing or dry cleaning
• Enlist the help of children folding their own clothes (or rolling them if they are to young to fold) and putting away their own laundry

Strategy #5: Outsourcing

By saving money on other areas (i.e. eating out less, grocery shopping less frequently) you can afford to outsource some household functions. Outsourcing is available for many things today such as: housekeeping, meal preparation, grocery shopping, birthday party planning, pet care, vacation planning etc..

Remember too that our partners are more than capable and willing to make extra contributions in the family. As you enlist Strategy #1, be sure to consider the hours of work and overtime each person puts in and use that as a guide in creating a balance between the workloads. We also often underestimate the ability of our children in participating in the household chores.

As early as three years of age, start teaching your children about participation in the family responsibilities and make it a fun experience for them. Create family rituals and celebrate your successes. Most importantly, learn to let go and reflect on your standards and whether you are willing to compromise them, even slightly. Your house may not look like a show home all the time, but if your stress level is lowered and you are connecting with your children and partner, then thus subtle shift could be worth it’s weight in gold. If you are returning to work after a maternity leave or re-entering the workplace after and extended leave, these strategies will help you to ensure that your transition is as harmonious as possible.

Maureen Clarke, MA is a coach, facilitator and trainer with 15 years experience in the business world in the area of education & development. Maureen is the Principal of The Blueprint Group, a company that specializes in programs for organizations for their female employees returning to work post-maternity leave.

For a list of resources used in compiling this article, please contact us at: info@blueprintgroup.ca