Sustainability seems to be the buzz word in society today: sustainable communities, sustainable futures, sustainable learning. What about sustainable lives?

For working Mom’s there seems to be “so much to do” and “so little time”. We tend to get absorbed in the doing of life, causing us to feel as if we are running a sprint – every day. I look at Donovan Bailey for example, the great Canadian sprinter or Michael Johnson, the great American sprinter. These graceful athletes train their bodies’ body day in and day out for 9.84 seconds of full out exertion. Working Moms tend to do a 9.84 sprint over and over again each day. It’s no wonder we feel exhausted and have trouble finding our balance. Primarily because we are too busy doing. Keep in mind that rest, renewal and pacing are all critical to the training of both Donovan and Michael – a 9.84 second ongoing sprint is not sustainable, nor is it healthy. I think that both these athletes would agree.

I recently read an amazing book by Linda Kavelin-Popov called A Pace of Grace – The Virtues of a Sustainable Life. Linda writes from the perspective of someone who was trapped in the rush of a busy and successful career life until a life threatening illness halted her in her tracks. Linda calls this state of go; go go the FOG – Fatigue, Overwhelm and Guilt. Linda was forced quite dramatically to see that this way of life was not sustainable. The American Heritage Dictionary defines pace as “The rate or speed at which an activity or movement proceeds”. Like a runner paces herself for a marathon, we need to ask ourselves, at what pace am I moving through my life at right now and is this pace sustainable?

Now, I know this may sound simple and “easy for me to say”, but I truly believe in this concept of sustainability for a long and fulfilling life. When we step over the line into a commitment to make changes, we are moving away from being reactive towards a proactive approach of what we want to create – with intention. The caveat here is choice. We have to want to live this way it in order to create it. We need to step away from what we are doing now (our habitual way of doing things), take a 50,000 foot view of our lives, choose and then step back in with a new, more deeply connected commitment to living with a Pace of Grace as Linda describes.

The path to rediscovering a new way of living is inviting. When we become mothers, we change dramatically. Our values shift, the way we see the world shifts, we uncover things and emotions about ourselves that we never knew existed. We tend to get trapped into our role of caregiver and provider and eventually neglect some of the core things about ourselves that existed before children. Suddenly, caring for ourselves takes a backseat to the many other demands of our growing family and we become martyrs, caring for others yet neglecting ourselves. We learn to become sprinters even though we may never have run a day in our lives! This is where we lose our pacing. Linda writes with passion and commitment about how to create a new path on which we can walk (or jog) through a new life with grace and pace towards living a sustainable life.

Here is what she suggests:

Purify Your Life – check in with yourself and be truthful – how are you really doing?

Purify Your Body – rediscover your mind-body connection and purge any guilt you may feel related to self-care.

Breathe Mindfully – refresh your air supply every hour or so by breathing deeply, simply notice if you are rushing and holding your breath.

Purify Your Language – remove negativity from your language. Use the language of acceptance, appreciation and assertiveness.

Forgive – be accountable and not guilty, practice integrity and tenderness and keep your relationships clean and clear.

Heal Your Finances – evaluate your wealth and your worth, pace your spending and teach others to spend wisely.

Create a Space of Grace – clear clutter from your mind and your life, ask for help and create a living space that is simple and organized.

Support Yourself – take care of yourself, slow down when you need to, listen to your body and have compassion for yourself.

Set Clear Boundaries – set a sustainable pace for your life, observe what activities drain you and remove them from your life, protect your time for you and your family and choose your quality life.

Play – play every day at work and at home, expect to enjoy your day and spend energy on fixing not complaining.

Pray or Meditate – take time to reflect on your spirituality and read what inspires you, start a reflection journal.

Give the Gift of Presence – give your full attention to what you are doing, offer compassion and curiosity.

Create Community – take care of your primary relationships and invest in a friendship, be willing to be worthy and heal the disease to please.

Put Your First Passion First – play with possibilities of the life you want to create, pace yourself as you move towards it.

Plan for Grace – be proactive and plan for a pace of grace, be purposeful in all that you do and say in service of the new way of being you are creating.

Stepping into a new perspective is essential in order to learn how to pace your life. As you look at these strategies, view them with intention, read each one carefully and choose to leave behind those things that are keeping you from the pace at which you would like to live. Avoid seeing these as more items on your to do list. Begin to see these as the paper your to-do list is written upon. Suddenly, new meaning emerges – a deeper and more connected meaning that will enable you to intentionally begin to create a new way of being in the world. So, take off those sprinters shoes, throw away the timing watch and lace up the long distance runner shoes (or even a pair of TEVA’s will do!) Life is not a sprint; life is not a marathon. Life for working Mom’s should be a spacious, evenly paced journey through the forest, the city, the park or the beach where a new discovery is around each corner.

To order a copy of the book A Pace of Grace – The Virtues of a Sustainable Life by Linda Kavelin-Popov, click here.

Maureen Clarke, MA is a coach, facilitator and trainer with 15 years experience in the business world in the area of education & development. Maureen is the Principal of The Blueprint Group, a company that specializes in programs for organizations for their female employees returning to work post-maternity leave.