It is elusive, it is "out there" it is something we want personally and our employers want us to have...but how to do we GET it? In a world where we can pretty much order up any quick fix or cure online or over the phone in a bottle, cream or cherry flavored syrup why is work-life balance so elusive? What can we just not find a "quick fix" and be done with it. You know order it up on e-Bay, priority shipping, no duty or taxes (it should be tax free don't you think) and move on to the next thing? Alas, if only it was that simple.

We hear this term all the time these days "work-life balance". The weekly newspapers write articles about it, news stations run segments on it and there are a zillion books on the bookstore shelves about it. There is even a TV channel dedicated to it!

We make human resources strategies around it thinking it is something a company can control. This is only partially true. But, the truth of the matter is that it is not about a "quick fix". We can get in our physical exercise, go to the company sponsored blood pressure check over the lunch hour and use the organization's concierge and on-site day care (if you are lucky enough to have it). But, all these things solely will not bring us work-life balance. They will help. The reality is that it starts with the individual. What I mean is that it is about asking those big questions such as:

• What do I really want?
• What are my values and am I living up to them?
• Who am I blaming (if anyone) for my lack of balance?
• What am I afraid to ask for?
• What am I holding on to and what am I not willing to let go of in order to have it?

Like all things in life, having work-life balance is about making choices and likely changes too. Sometimes the choices are not clear and the changes may seem impossible or even unfathomable. But in truth, no matter how hard our employers try to support us with flexible work arrangements, health incentives, maternity and parental leaves it is up to us to decide. In this global economy, the reality is that employers will continue to need to keep pace and be competitive. As a result of this the workload is likely not going to decrease. With this in mind, it seems to me that work-life balance becomes and inside job. I know it sounds cliché but it is about a state of mind, a state of being. One that takes a commitment to oneself to seek the support needed to make the choices and changes necessary. The jumping off point is to truly understand that no on else can "do" work-life balance for us. So, if work-life balance is on your to do list - take it off. It cannot be ordered up on e-Bay. Instead, place work-life balance on your "to be" list and start thinking about what is holding you back from having the life you want to have. Once you know where you are at, you can move forward into where you want to be. As a conversation between the Queen and Alice once went;

"I can't believe that!" said Alice.

"Can't you?" the queen said in a pitying tone. "Try again, draw a long breath, and shut your eyes."

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said. "One can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!"

Maureen Clarke is a facilitator, trainer, coach and balance seeker. She is the Principal of The Blueprint Group - taking a strategic leadership approach to creating healthy, high performing organizations through innovative talent retention initiatives.